A Better Day

"Hey did you hear the news?"

I looked up from a patient's chart and saw one of the city paramedics.

"They announced today that all troops will be out of Iraq by December 31st!"

I gave a fake smile.

"Oh, yeah, well I'll believe that when I see it," I replied.

It was my routine response to this topic.  I've known about the December 31st deadline for a long time and I consistently google all news articles related to the topic.  However, I know that these things can change at any moment and the nature of my husband's work makes it so that he will be one of the very last to leave.  I have prepared myself for a late spring reunion.

I worked the rest of my busy shift, walked to my car, and pulled out my phone to check my email.

One of my best friends wrote: "This is great news, right?"

I shrugged.  Maybe.

Then I saw the video:




The tears started running down my face.  And then I started sobbing.  Alone in my car I was able to let down the wall and feel the complicated emotions of deployment.

I'm still ready for the full deployment but I can't help but feel happiness over the official announcement of a possible early return.

I got home, ate Chinese food, and opened my fortune cookie.

It read:  

Today is probably a huge improvement over yesterday.

The Blackout

The fear is hard to describe.

The panic of a communication blackout

When they intentionally shut off all communication

So that family can be notified.

So that word doesn't leak out.

You don't get your morning email

The message you always get.

You wait for the Skype call you had planned

But it never rings.

You send emails - desperate emails

That go unanswered. 

Unread.

With each passing moment 

Your panic increases

You scour the internet for an answer

And hope you find it

At the same time you hope you don't.

You read those four words:

American soldier killed today

The next words list the general location

The same location across the world

That the love of your life lives.

You try to convince yourself that you'd know by now.

Someone would have told you.

You're the first person to be notified

And you've been home all day.

Someone would have come

And told you 

The news.

You would have seen that car by now.

The car that every military wife dreads

The car that you keep looking out the window

Hoping not to see.

There's nothing you can do

To stop the fear

the tears

the nerves

The only thing that would help

Is a phone call from him

An email.

A message.

So you wait.

You just keep waiting.

Eyes Wide Open Exhibit Revisited

Five years ago, I wrote an editorial for a university newspaper expressing my disapproval for the "Eyes Wide Open" exhibit sponsored by the American Friends Service Committee (AFSC).

Have you ever seen it?

(http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/18885483/ns/us_news-memorial_day/t/nearly-soldiers-killed-iraq-past-year/)

Basically, the American Friends Service Committee is a Quaker organization that works to promote social justice, peace, and humanitarian service.  They have done many important things since their inception in 1917 including establishing economic development programs in Asia, Africa, and Latin America, providing support to the U.S Civil Rights Movement, and providing aid in both World Wars and Vietnam.  In 1947, along with the British Quakers, they received a Nobel Peace Prize for their work.

The American Friends Service Committee is fundamentally opposed to conflict and has been against every war since its inception in 1917.  They have consistently vocalized their disapproval of the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan and have called for immediate withdrawal since they began.

Here is what I wrote about their exhibit (Eyes Wide Open):

~~~~~~~~

As I walked towards the Tisch Library last Wednesday, I passed by a group of individuals handing out flyers about the war in Iraq. They had signs up proclaiming that too much money has been wasted and too many lives have been lost overseas because of the war. I was continuing to make my way up the steps when I noticed a large number of combat boots lined up in a seeming attempt at a "memorial" for fallen soldiers. The sign underneath read, "Eyes Wide Open: An Exhibition on the Human Cost of the Iraq War." 

As a girlfriend of an Iraq war veteran, I was curious. Upon closer inspection, I realized that attached to the boots were tags containing the names and towns of several fallen soldiers from New England. 

My heart sank. 

At first, I thought that it would be best not to voice my opinion, and I attempted to walk by; but as I passed, I was solicited to take a flyer. My polite "no thank you," however, was received with a sarcastic sneer. I took a few steps further and decided that this was not a time to remain silent. 

There are ways to be against the war in Iraq and continue to support our troops, and unfortunately, this exhibit was not an example of this behavior. Instead, the group took the names of soldiers and placed them in their exhibit without first obtaining consent to do so. 

This was clearly an anti-war protest masquerading as a memorial for those who had lost their lives. It put on the show of honoring the fallen soldiers by placing their boots in a row and listing their names. 

However, these soldiers were brave and honorable men and women who traveled across the world from their loved ones and sacrificed their lives for a cause that they felt was just and for reasons that are inalienably personal. It is disrespectful to use their names - especially in the context of their deaths - to propagate a viewpoint that may not have been their own. 

To use their names as an argument for troop withdrawal and to support the idea that the war is wrong only serves to say that they died for nothing. This behavior does not honor the troops, but in fact dishonors what they stood for, fought for and for which they ultimately lost their lives. Regardless of your opinion on the war, it is not right to use another person's name to further your cause without his or her expressed consent. The fact that an individual is dead does not give free reign on their identity. 

When I approached the individual at the "memorial" and asked whether they had gotten consent from every family member to allow the names to appear in their exhibit, I felt I was received with a less-than-friendly attitude. As I expressed my concerns and the offense that I had taken, the individual stared off into space and said, "Well, I stand by it, because it humanizes the exhibit." 

Yes, of course it humanizes the exhibit - I will not argue with that. But then maybe we should include the brutal stories of their deaths, because that would humanize the exhibit even more. Or perhaps we should show videotapes of their funerals or, better yet, maybe we should just put up pictures of their bodies. That would make for an especially humanized effect. 

The protestors used the soldiers, through the combat boots, as mere props and all but admitted that they were dramatizing their exhibit to express their views. When I asked the individual how he felt about the fact that many of the fallen soldiers would explicitly disagree with his views and may not appreciate their deaths being used as an argument for them, his response was that, "I'm pretty sure a lot of families of these soldiers would agree with me at this point." 

I was not aware that one opinion of the war could be extended to represent the opinion of another person and voicing it for them. Apparently, these individuals felt that they had the right to do that.

The "Eyes Wide Open" exhibit is a national traveling group that visits areas across the country. It is run by an organization called the American Friends Service Committee (AFSC), which promotes the philosophy that there should be an immediate withdrawal of U.S. troops from Iraq.

Interestingly, the "Contributors" page on the Web site for the exhibit makes no mention of the fallen soldiers - the very people that they are using to express their views. The Web site also claims that the exhibit "features a pair of boots honoring each U.S. casualty … This traveling exhibit is a memorial to those who have fallen and a witness to our belief that no war can justify its human cost." 

I called the AFSC, and they confirmed for me that they do not ask permission of families before displaying names in their exhibit. They also admitted that some families have expressed disapproval about the nametags. However, the AFSC representative said, if family members are opposed to the naming of their loved one, they can file paperwork and have it removed. 

This is not an acceptable solution. Everybody deserves the right to control where his or her name is placed before it appears alongside a political message. Relying on families to hear about the exhibit, visit and file paperwork to remove the name is the wrong way to obtain consent. 

The organization asserts that it is not a protest, but instead, it is a place for "people to come and mourn those who have been lost." This exhibit was far from a memorial for the casualties of the war. 

A war memorial is a time to honor the individuals who sacrificed their lives. It is a time to stand up and applaud their efforts and remember how much they cared and how much they gave. It is not a time to list names as statistics to further a personal agenda, and it is certainly not a time to assert that their sacrifices were not worth anything - to say that their deaths were not justified. 

If you do not believe that their acts were brave or that their efforts are worthy of applause, then do not demean their deaths by using their names without their permission. I am not arguing for or against the political messages of this group, but am instead arguing against their acts of personal infringement. This is not an issue of the situation in Iraq and what actions need to be taken regarding this matter: It is an issue of respecting others for their opinions and their actions. 

An unpopular war is not an excuse to disrespect the lives it has claimed. It is time to truly honor the fallen. 

Take the names off the boots. 

~~~~~~~

Do you agree with what I wrote five years ago?  
Do you think writing the names is disrespectful or do you think it is acceptable and within their right? 
Is this a memorial, a protest, or both?  

I would love to hear your thoughts.  Opposing views are welcome just please keep it friendly.

Blue Star Banner - How Much Is Too Much?

Do you ever worry that you are advertising to complete strangers that your spouse or significant other is not home?

I have a blue star flag on my front door and a sticker on my car.  I hesitated at first to put these up because I worried that they would tell people a woman lives here alone.  In the end, I decided that the blue star flag signifies an immediate family member and not necessarily a spouse.  In addition, it doesn't even mean that the Soldier normally lives in that particular residence.  I proudly display my blue star in honor of my husband.

Today I started to doubt myself.  My doorbell rang at around 10 AM as I was standing in my living room.  I hadn't yet showered, brushed my teeth, or changed out of my sweat pants and sweat shirt.  I looked out the window to see some construction guys standing in my walkway and I quickly contemplated what to do.  I rarely answer a doorbell unless I'm expecting someone or I know who is on the other side.  However, a town Department of Public Works truck pulled up, so I went ahead and answered.  They needed access to my basement to connect a temporary water main that they had been placing on my street. 

I opened the garage doors and I got a simultaneous "NICE MUSTANG!!!!!" from the four workers.  I chuckled and said "Oh, thanks, it's my husband's car."

Then one of the men asked me the question.

"Is your husband overseas?"

I stared blankly, confused at how he knew that.

"I saw the blue star banner."

I looked up and noticed that he was wearing a camouflage baseball hat. 

He must have some connection the military, I thought.

"Yes."

"Army? Navy? Marines?"

"Army."

He nodded his head.

They walked around my garage and basement with a flashlight looking in every corner for the water meter. 

"Where is he?"

I hesitated. 

"Iraq."

He nodded again.

That was the extent of the exchange. They found what they were looking for, asked me to check if I still had water (which I did) and went on their merry way up the street to the next house.

I walked back into my living room and started thinking:

In an effort to honor my husband, did I just put myself in harm's way?  

Did I really just tell this complete stranger, who now knows the exact lay-out of my basement and garage, that I was living alone?  

Does the blue star banner open me up to sensitive conversation?

In reality, I'm fairly certain this town employee with the camouflage hat was just being nice.  He was likely either in the military, retired military, or a military family member.  But how can one be so sure?  I've had people in my life surprise me and turn out to be completely insane when they seemed quite normal.  I've learned through experiences that you can't trust appearances, so why am I being so trusting?

Do you display a blue star banner or other indication of your husband's service?  Do you get nervous about the same things?

Extreme Home Makeover: Fire Department Style

Something really wonderful happened to one of the families in our unit.  As I've said before, we are a reserve unit so the soldiers all have civilian jobs. We live away from military bases, each other, and the Army lifestyle.  One of my husband's battle buddies ("M") is a firefighter and his wife ("J") is a teacher.  They are some of the nicest people you will ever meet.  She is now 7 months pregnant with their first child and will be giving birth while he is overseas.  We are all hoping they can arrange leave so that he can be home for the birth.  If not, they have it arranged with the hospital to Skype the birth.  This couple had big plans for much-needed home renovations before their little boy arrives.   Unfortunately, they did not have time to do everything they wanted before M left.

Thursday morning, J woke up to pouring rain.  She left her house and went to her job teaching 6th grade.  When she returned in the afternoon, she drove up to 30 firefighters surrounding her house.  Fortunately, there was no fire....they were stripping all the siding off her house!  The city firefighters had taken it upon themselves to get together on their time off and renovate M and J's house.  Dominoes Pizza and Home Depot showed up with donations and there were news crews everywhere!  The goal is to give M and J an entirely new house exterior in 10 days.  I believe they are even putting on a new roof.

 

It couldn't have happened to two more deserving people.  M probably won't be able to recognize his house when he comes back and that little baby boy is going to be living in style!

AOL's Military Job Week

Take a look at this video from Michelle Obama and Jill Biden:






I was recently contacted by AOL's social media team and asked if I would help spread the word about their current promotion for Military Job Week.

This week AOL is teaming up with the White House to show love and support of our troops and their families and encouraging those who have loved ones in the military to show their love through their Badges page.

For every support badge that is shared through Facebook or Twitter, AOL will donate to Hire Heroes USA.  This is an organization that offers assistance to veterans and their families in order to seek jobs upon their return home.

Please show your love today!  Get your badge at: http://aol.it/e51ogo

The Hardest Day

I sit here in front of my computer trying to write about something that there are no words to describe.

I can tell you about the weekend.  I can tell you that we laughed together, cried together, and hugged more tightly than we have ever hugged before.  I can tell you that I shed more tears than I ever have and that we said "I love you" enough times to fill a novel. 

But I just can't describe it.

The emotional response to saying goodbye to your husband as he leaves to go to war is truly unimaginable. 

I have never felt such panic, such fear, and such loneliness in my life.  As I watched the hotel lobby doors close behind him, I wanted to jump out of my car and run back inside.  I wanted to scream to him not to go.  I wanted to drag him out, drive off into the horizon together, and never look back. 

But I didn't.  I turned the car keys, took a deep breath, and I drove away.  Alone.

I had been thinking about this day for months - imagining what it would be like and how I would react.  I had wondered whether I would be okay and whether I would be as strong as I hoped.  Well, the months turned into weeks and the weeks turned into days and then all of a sudden the moment was upon us. 

We said our goodbye and it broke my heart.  But as I drove away, I felt relief.  The day had finally passed and the journey had begun.

I went home and I re-read the wedding vows that he said to me on a wonderful October day:

In Yiddish it translates to "geyn mit mir."

In Gaelic it's "shool lih-um."

In the very beginning I asked you to walk with me.

I had no idea where that walk would take us.

Our walk isn't always easy. Sometimes we trip, and sometimes we stumble.

There are times when there is great distance between us, but that only brings us closer together.

Many days it might seem like an uphill climb, and I might need a little extra help.

I want you to be the One to give me that push.

Some days you might need a little extra support. 

I want to be your crutch. 

Failing that, I will carry you.

I still don't know where this walk will take us.

All I ask is that you walk with me.

This deployment will just be one small stretch of our walk together. 

A wise man (my husband) once said, "This is tough, but we are tougher."

We will be stronger for this.

We will make it.

We will be okay.

Different Perspectives

There are so many paths that we all take in our military-affiliated lives.  Some of us are Army spouses. Some are Navy, Air Force, Coast Guard, or Marines. Some are Active duty and some are Reserves or National guard.  There are girlfriends among us and spouses who service members themselves.  There are Wounded Warrior spouses and Gold Star spouses.  It goes on and on. We all have different and valuable perspectives on this crazy life.

To Love a Soldier  recently added a "Different Perspectives" tab to her blog.  She highlights military spouse/girlfriend bloggers from all the various lifestyles.  Her goal is to help people find others with whom they can relate and connect.

She so kindly listed my blog for the Reserve/Guard spouse category.  Go check it out - she has an amazing blog over there!

This Life

I didn't choose this life.
This life chose me.

A man walked into my life.
He just walked in.
He was kind.
He was strong.
He was funny.
He was sexy.
He was right.

I did not sign up for this.
He signed up for this.
I just fell in love.

I fell into a life of sacrifice and compromise.
A life of worry and fear.
But I fell into a life of friendship and support.
A life of respect, love, and affection.

I just fell.

I didn't choose this life.
This life chose me.

But if you ask me to choose,
I choose this life.

Before Deployment...

You go to work, you smile, and you pretend.  Sometimes you speak of the deployment, but usually you don't.  It's easier to forget.

You come home and trip over combat boots. Your home is overflowing with camouflage; it's a constant reminder of the upcoming year.  Your dog lays atop a pile of Army t-shirts and the irony makes you laugh.

You cry when you are with him but you cry more when you are alone. You don't want to make him feel guilty for doing his job.

It feels like all you do is talk about deployment, yet at the same time all you do is avoid talking about deployment.

You learn about Power of Attorney, wills, and health care proxy.  You wonder when it was that you became an adult.

You act excited about the larger paychecks.  Really you would prefer to be dirt poor.

Every late night at work, schedule conflict, or errand to run becomes another missed moment together.

Every Army obligation becomes another stolen moment. You try not to feel resentful.

You watch him while he smiles and try to memorize that precise second.  You wish it was possible to record a smell, a touch, or a hug.

You sit together silently.  Your minds are consumed with similar thoughts.

Someone tells you about a party, a wedding, or a concert and you know you will go alone.

You drive him to the airport for another two week training.  People stare as you hug your Soldier in uniform.  You can't bear to think about the next goodbye.

You glance out the window and for the first time in your life, you wish the snow banks wouldn't melt.  It  means winter is ending.

You can't decide whether you want to rewind time, pause time, or fast forward time.

You talk to him about the mission.  

You see his deep passion for the job.

 You admire his sacrifice.

You remember the good he will do and the people he will help.

You realize it will only make you a stronger woman.

You know surviving the distance will bring you closer.

You feel overwhelming pride.

You feel unfaltering love.

But you still cry.

Blizzard Bloghop 2011

Hi there everyone, this is Dr. Army Wife and I'm participating in the Blizzard Bloghop 2011 hosted by Household 6 Diva. To join, go link up & write an introduction post and then grab some tea (or wine) and blog-hop the weekend away!




While I'm just starting out with this whole blogging business, it's been an incredible experience for me.  It allows me an outlet for my feelings, a way to meet new people (especially other military spouses), and it makes me stop and think about the good, bad, and crazy things happening in my busy life.

A little about Dr. Army Wife:  I have chosen to keep this blog semi-anonymous given the fact that I'd rather not be recognized by patients or residency programs right now.  So, I apologize ahead of time that you won't be seeing pictures of my face.  But doesn't it make me seem way cooler and more mysterious?

I'm a late twenty-something fourth year medical student just cruising through until graduation in a couple months.  I live somewhere in the United States and hope to start a residency in Emergency Medicine...somewhere in the United States.  I met my husband 6 years ago and we were married just this past October on the most amazing fall day that I can ever remember (minus the cold blue-lipped photo session).

My husband is a firefighter/paramedic/nursing student/Army reservist.  Needless to say, he's just as busy as me!  We are now facing an upcoming deployment overseas (his second, my first) and it's a pretty crazy time right now in our household.  I'm using this blog as a way to cope as I stumble my way through the next year or so.  I write about my life, the military & deployment, medicine, family, food, and whatever random other things come to mind.

Thanks for stopping by - can't wait to read your blogs!

A Random Act of Kindness

During the first night of our honeymoon, we experienced a wonderful act of unprovoked kindness.

It was nearly 4 pm when we got to the hotel.  We enjoyed our delicious complimentary drinks (fresh fruit blended with vodka) and quickly changed into our bathing suits to hit the pool.  Now if you've ever seen my husband with his shirt off, you would know that not only is he a outstanding male specimen, but he also has several tattoos that reflect his military career.  This, combined with his short haircut, make it pretty obvious that he's a veteran.  Even though we didn't really socialize with any of the fellow guests at the pool that night, some of them took notice of this fact.

We enjoyed our short pool adventure and left to get ready for dinner.  When we returned for our first surprise 4 course meal, we were told by the staff that the gentleman in Villa 4 was paying for our dinner.

Wait, what?

This was quite unexpected since the only words exchanged with this man had been "The pool is chilly but you get used to it."  In fact, the staff had to describe him to us because we weren't even clear who he was in the first place.  He apparently had realized that my husband was in the military and wanted to thank him for his service.

We were definitely taken aback by this wonderful gesture and weren't even sure how to respond to it.  A simple thank you was all that we could do, but I think I'll have to figure out a way to pay it forward.

Another random honeymoon picture. Just because. 

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas, Readers!  I hope you have a marvelous holiday and eat lots and lots and lots of delicious cookies. 

As you spend time with your families and celebrate together, don't forget the thousands of troops currently on the other side of the world:

A Soldier's Christmas Poem:

'Twas the night before Christmas,
He lived all alone,
In a one bedroom house
Made of plaster and stone.

I had come down the chimney
With presents to give,
And to see just who
In this home did live.

I looked all about,
A strange sight I did see,
No tinsel, no presents,
Not even a tree.

No stocking by mantle,
Just boots filled with sand,
On the wall hung pictures
Of far distant lands.

With medals and badges,
Awards of all kinds,
A sober thought came through my mind.

For this house was different,
It was dark and dreary,
I found the home of a soldier,
Once I could see clearly.

The soldier lay sleeping,
Silent, alone
Curled up on the floor
In this one bedroom home.

The face was so gentle,
The room in such disorder,
Not how I pictured
A United States Soldier.

Was this the hero
Of whom I'd just read?
Curled up on a poncho,
The floor for a bed?

I realized the families
That I saw this night,
Owed their lives to these soldiers
Who were willing to fight.

Soon round the world,
The children would play,
And grownups would celebrate
A bright Christmas day.

They all enjoyed freedom
Each month of the year,
Because of the soldiers,
Like the one lying here.

I couldn't help wonder
How many lay alone,
On a cold Christmas Eve
In a land far from home.

The very thought
Brought a tear to my eye,
I dropped to my knees
And started to cry.

The soldier awakened
And I heard a rough voice,
"Santa don't cry,
This life is my choice;

I fight for freedom,
I don't ask for more,
My life is my God,
My country, My corps."

The soldier rolled over
And drifted to sleep,
I couldn't control it,
I continued to weep.

I kept watch for hours,
So silent and still
And we both shivered
From the cold night's chill.

I didn't want to leave
On that cold, dark night,
This guardian of honor
So willing to fight.

Then the soldier rolled over,
With a voice soft and pure,
Whispered, "Carry on Santa,
It's Christmas Day, all is secure."

One look at my watch,
And I knew he was right.
"Merry Christmas my friend,
And to all a good night."

(Written by a soldier in WW2 stationed in Japan)

OPSEC: Silence Means Security

You may notice that I am sometimes vague about things on this blog - this is intentional.

You will never see my full name, place of work, place of residence, close-up photographs, or any other specifics.  The same goes for details regarding my husband and his military unit.  This is for my safety and for his safety.

In fact, even if you know me in real life, you will find that I am probably going to be fairly vague when answering your questions about my husband's deployment.  This isn't because I don't trust you. It's because I don't trust life and I want my husband to come home safely.

OPSEC or Operations Security is based on the premise of protecting loved ones by protecting the information that you know.  It is being aware of what you share because it could be heard, read, or seen by people that intend to use it in a negative way.   Even small, seemingly insignificant details can be put together into a bigger puzzle and critical information can be extrapolated.

As Household 6 Diva writes on her blog:

PLEASE
Don't talk about the time frame.
Don't talk about the mission.
Don't talk about equipment.
Don't talk about numbers.
Don't talk about destinations.
Don't spread rumors.
Don't share pictures with unit insignia

Phone, email, chat rooms, message boards, blogs.
Always assume someone is listening.

My lovely readers, if you ever see anything on this blog that you think violates OPSEC, please let me know.  

Yellow Ribbon Reintegration Program: Parts 1 & 2

Being a loved one of someone in the military is incredibly difficult.  For active duty families, it involves frequent moves (sometimes internationally), military housing, multiple deployments, and a myriad of personal sacrifices.  Recently, I have been reading blogs of other military wives to try to get ideas for coping with the upcoming deployment.  While I can relate to them in some ways, it is still completely different to be the wife of a deploying reservist.  It poses its own specific challenges that do not exist in the active duty world.

We are used to the military being a part of our life, but we are are not used it being our life.

Our soldiers are nurses, doctors, lawyers, firefighters, teachers, store clerks...you name it.  When not deployed, military obligations involve one weekend a month and two weeks a year of putting on the uniform and training.  Therefore, when our loved ones get activated for an upcoming deployment, we are not always mentally or psychologically prepared.  Its not something we are used to thinking about on a regular basis.

It is difficult because we do not have the same types of support systems as active duty families.  Some unique challenges that we face:

• We don't live near other military families.  The families in my husband's unit are spread out over hundreds of miles.  We don't see each other on a regular basis and we don't all know each other well.    
• We don't have access to the resources of living on or near a military base.  It can be difficult to find assistance with military legal, financial, and social issues.
• Our soldiers have to leave behind civilian jobs and civilian obligations.  Employers may be less than understanding about this situation and it can sometimes be difficult to return to them.
• We don't have other friends or family members who have been through this or who truly understand.
• Our children may be the only ones in their school who have a parent overseas.  The child may struggle with this and the school may not have experience with helping.

For this reason, the Department of Defense has developed something called the Yellow Ribbon Reintegration Program to help soldiers and families of reservists through the deployment cycle.  It's a series of seven conferences where they provide information, services, referral, and outreach.

This past weekend, the Army gave us Part 1 & 2 (Alert Phase and Pre-Deployment).  We arrived at the hotel to a patriotic greeting:

After some socializing with the unit, we headed to bed to rest up for an entire day of information overload.  The next morning involved a buffet breakfast, singing of the national anthem, a greeting by one of the Army Generals, and then it was straight into the schedule.  Some of the things we heard about:

• Military OneSource: A 24/7 phone number and website that can assist with virtually any issue that may arise, ranging from counseling to broken dishwashers to help finding a lawyer and so on.  They say that you can call them with literally any question you might have about anything.  I learned that I can even call Military OneSource and ask them how to cook a turkey.

• ESGR (Employer Support): The short story is that it's illegal for your employer to give away your job while you are gone and if you have any problems, you call them and they help you.

• Financial planning:  I was excited to find out that we can get free financial planning.  Given the astronomical quantity of student loans I have, I think we could use some help.

• Health insurance: Self-explanatory

• Child and Youth Services: We don't have kids, but if we did there would be many cool things for them including Army Reserve Camps, Army Reserve Leadership Conferences, tutoring, daycare, free YMCA memberships, and financial stipends for extracurricular activities.

• Legal Issues: Power of Attorney, Wills, Trusts, etc...(Moral of the story, don't give Power of Attorney to someone you met two days ago at the casino - even if you think they are a really good person.)

• OPSEC:  What you should and should not talk about publicly regarding deployment.  I'll post more on this another day.

Then we had a few more talks about "Pre-Deployment Battlemind Training for Spouses," "Emotional Cycles of Deployment," and a Family Readiness Group meeting.  During this time I focused on  chugging back the disgusting, bitter coffee as a source of distraction from the lump in my throat and tears in my eyes.

After dinner, we ventured out on the town for drinks and had some unit/family bonding time.  This was a great opportunity for people to socialize with each other, exchange contact info, tell stories, laugh, and yes, of course, cry together.  The entire conference was really informative for me as I have never been through this before.  The other thing it did, for better or worse, was make the deployment something that I clearly can no longer pretend doesn't exist.

The next Yellow Ribbon Program (Phase 3) will be for families only and will occur approximately 1-2 months after the unit is overseas.  I hope I can sneak away from the hospital for it!

Moments Like This....

A couple of weeks ago, my husband and I went to his sister's house for a visit.  When it was time to leave, our 5 1/2 year old nephew reached up to hug my husband and say goodbye for the night.

He looked up at my husband, smiled, and said, "Thank you."

My husband was puzzled at this seemingly random expression of gratitude.  He replied, "For what?"

Our little 45 pound nephew -- who was not even born when the military first set boots down in Iraq and Afghanistan -- responded:

"You're a Soldier, right?  Thank you for protecting us."

It's these kind of moments that tug at your heart.