The Blackout

The fear is hard to describe.

The panic of a communication blackout

When they intentionally shut off all communication

So that family can be notified.

So that word doesn't leak out.

You don't get your morning email

The message you always get.

You wait for the Skype call you had planned

But it never rings.

You send emails - desperate emails

That go unanswered. 

Unread.

With each passing moment 

Your panic increases

You scour the internet for an answer

And hope you find it

At the same time you hope you don't.

You read those four words:

American soldier killed today

The next words list the general location

The same location across the world

That the love of your life lives.

You try to convince yourself that you'd know by now.

Someone would have told you.

You're the first person to be notified

And you've been home all day.

Someone would have come

And told you 

The news.

You would have seen that car by now.

The car that every military wife dreads

The car that you keep looking out the window

Hoping not to see.

There's nothing you can do

To stop the fear

the tears

the nerves

The only thing that would help

Is a phone call from him

An email.

A message.

So you wait.

You just keep waiting.

You Call Me Doctor

Doctor.

You say that's me.

I'm not so sure.

It says "MD" on my name tag.

So I guess it must be true.

I have to let you in on a little secret.

Right now I'm just pretending.

In truth,

I don't know what I'm doing.

Or at least it feels that way.

It's July.

You shouldn't come to the hospital in July.

All these fresh faces.

All these new doctors.

I don't even know the way to the bathroom.

You call me "Doctor"

but it feels like

Halloween.

Red is Positive, Black is Negative

As I've mentioned before, there's a little thing called Murphy's Law of Deployment.  It strikes again and again to family members of the military.  I've been pretty lucky so far and have not had too many issues with Mr. Murphy.  Regardless, I have been forced to learn a few things along the way about self-reliance and independence.

I'm not sure that this qualifies as Murphy's Law, but the battery in my husband's cherished and beloved Mustang keeps dying.  I suppose I can't blame this on Murphy at all because it is actually entirely my fault.  I haven't been starting it on a regular basis or even a semi-regular basis.  A couple of weeks ago I enlisted the help of one of my husband's fellow firefighters to jump start his car.  This would have worked fabulously if the plan didn't rely on me continuing to turn the key on his car.  I let the car run for 30 minutes, shut it off, and of course didn't attempt to start it again for pretty much a millenium.   Needless to say, the Mustang sits in our garage with an empty battery and low tire pressure.  I actually believe the tires may be molding into one particular shape because they haven't moved.  I'm a horrible car babysitter.

Today I decided I would be an independent and strong woman.  I would....gasp...try to jump start his car on my own!  Oh the horror! 

I pulled my car forward just narrowly escaping denting his bumper with mine.  It took me a good 15 minutes to find the lever on his hood.  Finally with both car hoods open, I stood proudly admiring my work so far. 

Now came the difficult part.

I opened the jumper cables, inspected the red and black clamps and promptly googled "how to jumpstart a car" on my iphone.  This was quite successful as there are several detailed instructions online.  I connected red to positive (+), black to negative (-), red to positive (+) on the Mustang, and stood there with the final black clamp. 

Connect to a unpainted piece of metal under the hood.

No problem.  I confidently clamped it around a metal piece.  Unfortunately, no one warned me that it would spark. 

Boy did it spark.

I jumped, screamed, retreated, unconnected everything, threw down both hoods, backed up my car, and ran inside.

Why is it that I have no problem defibrillating a human being, but cannot manage to charge a car battery?

Oh well, there's no shame in asking for help.

Indego Africa Winner!

The winner of my Indego Africa Giveaway is.....

KL @ The New Normal

Congratulations!!  Please email me with your shipping address:  drarmywife@gmail.com

Happy Birthday, U.S. Army

**(Be sure to enter my first ever GIVEAWAY!  I don't have a lot of entries yet and the cosmetics bag is super cute.  If you are already a follower, just let me know in the comments section - that counts as an entry!)**

Happy Birthday, United States Army.   

Two hundred and thirty six years!  You old goat.

First Giveaway - Indego Africa!

I am really excited to announce that I am doing my very first giveaway -- and it is really awesome. 

I want to tell you about an amazing non-profit organization called Indego Africa.

Indego Africa ("Indego") is an innovative 501(c)(3) nonprofit social enterprise – and subject of a Harvard Business School case study (Nov. 2010) – driving forward a uniquely market-based approach to women's empowerment in Africa.

Indego employs a simple yet powerful business model: (a) partner with cooperatives (“co-ops”) of more than 250 women artisans in Rwanda on a fair trade basis; (b) sell its partners hand-made accessories and home décor products on its online store and at more than 70 U.S. retailers, including Anthropologie and Nicole Miller; and (c) invest 100% of profits from sales, and all donations, into its training programs for the co-ops in business management, entrepreneurship, literacy, and technology – all taught by Rwanda’s top university students on scholarship through its partner NGO, Generation Rwanda.

Indego Africa provides opportunities for women in difficult circumstances to first meet their families’ basic needs, and then acquire skills that enhance long-term earning potential. Within five years of partnering with Indego Africa, each artisan cooperative should include the following:

•                WOMEN GENERATING SUSTAINABLE INCOME. Women consistently earn more than $2 per day through their own initiative and oversee households that are entirely free of hunger, inadequate housing, and school absenteeism.

•               WOMEN LEVERAGING VALUABLE LONG-TERM SKILLS. Women deploy new high-value skills to earn supplemental income in their own community – whether at a cooperative, another employer, or their own business.

•                WOMEN RUNNING PROFITABLE EXPORT BUSINESSES. Women manage cooperatives that are fiscally responsible, effective in product design and delivery, and dynamic contributors to the community – all while engaging the global export market on their own terms.

•                 WOMEN FEELING HOPEFUL AND CONFIDENT. Women translate their experiences of financial success and increased productivity into a lasting sense of self-worth and pride, knowing that anything can be accomplished by working together with others and relying on their own strength.

By forging a strategy that validates and scales its mission, Indego Africa re-defines an outdated handicraft model of economic development and maps out a replicable blueprint for unleashing the power of women entrepreneurs in Africa.

Check out this video message from Emelienne Nyiramana, one of Indego Africa's partner artisans who recently graduated from the Goldman Sachs 10,000 Women Initiative Entrepreneurship Program in Rwanda.  Before partnering with Indego Africa in 2007, Emelienne and her colleagues made less than 25 cents a day carrying water.  They now run a profitable, transparent, high-profile business partnering with major retail outlets, including the iconic fashion designer Nicole Miller.



The women of Rwanda have so many incredible products available through Indego Africa and I encourage you to visit their website and take a look!

I'm giving away this GORGEOUS cosmetics case that was designed and produced by the women of Cocoki:

The cosmetics case will come with a tag signed personally by the artisan who created it!  I know this product is incredible because I own one and use it to carry around my favorite make-up.  Isn't it pretty?

To Enter:   

Please leave a separate comment for EACH entry (i.e. 1 comment for following, 1 comment for looking at the website, 4 separate comments for blogging about it).

• Publicly follow this blog and leave a comment to let me know (this is different than subscribing - see sidebar at right to follow):  1 entry
• Visit www.indegoafrica.org, look through the online shop and comment to tell me which product you think is the absolute coolest: 1 entry
• "Like" Indego Africa on Facebook (comment to let me know):  1 entry
• Follow Indego Africa on Twitter (comment to let me know): 1 entry
• Tweet about this giveaway (please include @Indego_Africa and comment to let me know): 1 entry
• Facebook about this giveaway (comment to let me know): 1 entry
• Blog about this giveaway (please leave me a link to your blog): 4 entries

This giveaway will stay open until Sunday June 19th at midnight EST and the winner will be chosen with random.org.

Golf With the Locals

Did you know it's safe over there now?
At least it's not Afghanistan.
After all, the war in Iraq is over.
We're just advisers now.

The troops
They are just playing golf with the locals.
Today they had a big softball game
U.S Army vs. Mahdi Army
There were beers
And hot dogs
Al-Sadr showed up and led a song of peace.

Last night
All the Americans stayed up late
for a pajama party with the insurgents.
They had ice cream
Did each other's hair
And talked about Kim Kardashian.

Sure, it's safe over there.
Tell that to the 50,000 troops
looking over their shoulders.
Tell that to the 5 troops killed in a single day
June 6, 2011
Tell that to their families.

If you think it's safe over there,
If you think we can breathe easy
Tell that to the
wives and husbands
mothers, fathers
sisters, brothers
children
as they hear about attacks
Frantically searching for the location
What city
What city
What city
As they scan the page or listen to the news
As they hold their breathe in fear.

Tell that to the pregnant wife
as her Skype conversation goes silent.
A loud noise, then silence.
A silence that lasts days.
Tell her it's safe
as she tries to convince herself
that it's just bad internet.
A poor connection.
A storm.

Tell that to the troops
who think about the future months.
The final exit from Iraq.
The long road through the desert to Kuwait.
The drive out of the country
with proverbial
targets
on their backs.

Or tell that to the troops who might stay.
The select few left behind
beyond the deadline.
The troops who already have threats
against their lives.
The ones who might be there
when everyone else
is home.

Tell them that it's safe.
After all, they are just playing golf with the locals.