It occurred to me today.
I've never had to sacrifice my life
In any meaningful way.
Not once.
Until now.
I grew up
with married parents
who gave me everything
who love me no matter what.
An older brother who asked for me.
A pink baby
He announced.
A younger sister to protect.
Storybook childhood
Upper middle class
Two houses
Private education
A car
A pony
First choice college
First choice medical school
First choice residency program
The man of my dreams.
A husband who pushes me to pursue my goals.
Who never once objected to my aspirations.
A man who loves me for who I am
and for who I want to be.
I'm sitting here
looking out the window.
Thinking about how fortunate I have been
How lucky I have been
How very, very blessed.
I've never in my life had to sacrifice.
I've never been told
you can't
you won't
you shouldn't
This deployment is a sacrifice.
I miss him.
But, I think it's my turn.
It's tough, huh? I remember when we were just married we moved to Japan and I had to endure an "arduous" sea duty. My husband was gone for over 280 days in the 14 months we were there. I remember going to movies, dinner, shopping, and excursions all alone -wondering if I'd survive the heart ache... I came out stronger for it (each deployment shows just a little more power within) and you will too! I know your heart hurts, it really does.
ReplyDeleteI seriously feel the EXACT same, to the T. perfectly said. I have never had to experience heart ache necessarily until this deployment. I suppose it's our time.
ReplyDeleteDon't we know it!! It is tough, but being up to the challenge is everything! Seems like while you've been lucky in life you're no stranger to hard work; I'm sure medical school is no joke!
ReplyDeleteWe're here for you, we understand and relate! :)
Wow, this made me all teary eyed for some reason! But wedding planning has had that effect on me. Don't ask. :)
ReplyDeleteDR AW, I am going to feature your blog with this on mine next week if thats okay! This is so strange because I was thinking some VERY similar things this morning but couldn't figure out how to write it. So well put, thank you.
ReplyDeleteI feel you. I had the "storybook" life growing up as well, with family life and having everything I ever needed and most of what I wanted--and got accepted to my first choices of college, master's program, and PhD program. When I got out of college (before I went the grad school route) I was offered 3 jobs, so I had my pick. I have an amazing daughter and family. But military life has been full of sacrifices that I don't know how to handle. I've been in it for nearly 10 years and I STILL don't know how to handle it. Sometimes I think it is the black eye in my calm world. But through the sacrifices on all of our parts (mine, my husband's and my daughter's) I see us growing stronger and stronger--as individuals and as a family. Through the sacrifices, I found strength I never knew I had. Because I have been blessed and am lucky have things come so easily to me, I think I may have sold myself short in the past. Now, there is no question as to my grounded strength--or the strength of my marriage and family. I think we are the lucky ones. Through our sacrifices, we will one day look back, knowing all that we have overcome--our little joys are not so little because of the sacrifices--our "little" joys are amazing accomplishments. At least, this is what I tell myself to get through the rough times. :) But, so far, so good...because it all rings true at least until this point.
ReplyDeleteStill love your blog! And extra-super-duper love this post!
An outstanding share! I've just forwarded this onto a co-worker who has been conducting a little homework on this. And he actually bought me dinner because I found it for him... lol. So allow me to reword this.... Thanks for the meal!! But yeah, thanx for spending time to talk about this topic here on your website.
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An outstanding share! I've just forwarded this onto a co-worker who has been conducting a little homework on this. And he actually bought me dinner because I found it for him... lol. So allow me to reword this.... Thanks for the meal!! But yeah, thanx for spending time to talk about this topic here on your website.
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